昨天遇然在報張上,看了一段有關落難劉振輝先生的新聞。他曾經是億萬富豪,有自己數不清的身家,也曾因為自負,使自己一敗塗地,一無所有。報導指他如何 在低潮中學懂面對失敗,面對人生。結果他再得到幸運之神的眷顧。由富豪變掃街,又由掃街變成月入六位數字的主管。而且,他已經是五十出頭的人了。

我看了這份報導後,的確對自己的前途起過幻想。今早大清早便跑了上那個曾經幫助過劉先生的再培訓中心。但不是每一個人都有劉先生的幸運吧?!

昨天遇然在报张上,看了一段有关落难富豪刘振辉先生的新闻。他曾经是亿万富豪,有自己数不清的身家,也曾因为自负,使自己一败涂地,一无所有。报导指他如何 在低潮中学懂面对失败,面对人生。结果他再得到幸运之神的眷顾。由富豪变扫街,又由扫街变成月入六位数字的主管。而且,他已经是五十出头的人了。

我看了这份报导后,的确对自己的前途起过幻想。今早大清早便跑了上那个曾经帮助过刘先生的再培训中心。但不是每一个人都有刘先生的幸运吧?!

Yesterday I read the news, it was telling the story of the bankrupt billionaire, Mr Lau Chun fai. He was rich, so rich that he did not know how to spend his money to make it less. But because of his pride, and his over confidence, he had made an utter mistake – a wrong investment on buying property; he lost everything in one night. Then how he learnt to face his failure; struggling with the change from a billionaire to a street cleaner to keep his life moving on. After he got help by the Employees Retraining Board, he succeeded to get a high pay job, with a monthly income of six digit numbers. He is already a 50 something.

I believe this headline must have been to give hope to a lot of people like I had. This morning I run to that ERB where they have helped Mr Lau’s re-training. But only to found out that not everyone has his luck!

我比劉先生還年青一點。我十來歲便從事設計行業,由 trainee 做到部門主管。又覺得自己的學歷不夠。儲了一筆錢,在自己事業的黃金期放下了工作,跑去讀了大學,拿了個學位。滿以為回來可以大展拳腳。卻遇上了1995 年經濟的低潮期。畢業後一年都找不到工作,只好投降去了教書,後來因為要跟男朋友結婚,嫁了到外國。有了孩子之後,從此只能斷斷續續的做 part-time 工作。一直做了八年。

兩年前回流香港,便在努力找正職,可是發出去的信,都像是石沉到了大海之中,無聲,無息也沒有回響。

在沒有拿到大學證書之前,朋友總嚷著要我做他/她們的下屬,因為他/她們都知我捱得,辦事效律快。任何一個 project 到了我的手,從來沒有錯失。

有一位同事和我共事了四份不同的工作,他可以說是我的恩師,也是因為這份恩情,我為了他辭了三份工作。最後與他共事的一份工作,他是 senior, 把我找來當他的下屬,我上了班才不到一星期,他便放大假去了。他留給我的是;兩本完全未開始設計的書刊,兩個要做的展覽設計,還有部份產品插圖,兩個月的 期限,一個整天到晚都只懂叫著”哎也!我吾得呀!”吾識點做呀的助手。我知道過了兩個月便是聖誕節,聖誕過後展覽便要開始 了,時間是沒得商量的。除了設計,還有所有的產品要拍照,要拍照便先要完成產品的插圖,還有排字。幸好我 pitman 打字及格,秘書小姐打字還比我慢。我只好硬著頭皮,一星期七天工 作,每夜做至零晨三零,回家洗過澡,又返回公司再戰沙場。

結果是我不負所托,但老闆們見到實在沒必要有個 senior 了, 說他不應在公司最忙碌和最需要人手的時候請假,把他辭退了。

他在執拾他的東西時對我說:”我想你辭職。”到現在,我還是覺得這個請求實在太自私了。但為了報答他是第一個教我做正稿的人。我真的辭了那份原本要把我升職的工作。

這次回來,我這個朋友其實是有能力可以幫我找一點工作的,但我現在的學歷比他高了,我的能力他也相當了解,就是我不介意做他的下屬,他也介意我對他的威脅性吧。

在我回來之後,他對我說:”我想你跟我太太合作做生意,開畫室。”

他只是不明白,我在這十年來所走的路,都是自己一個人做的決定,我再不是那個沒有自主的小妹妹了。

不單止是他想找我合作做生意,其他的朋友也一樣,就是沒有一個問我,回來了想幹甚麼?

所以我知道,要找工作,只有靠自己了。而我,我只想做設計。不想做生意。

我需要的,是一個伯樂,不去看我的年齡,不要以我這十年來都是part time 的工作經驗來衡量我。我對從事設計的熱誠,不是一般時下青年可以媲美的。事實上我做 part-time 的時候做project比那些正職的還快,還準,他/她們都對我又妒又怕,盡量在我身上放釘子使我不好受。

今天上了培訓局,那個社工對我的提議,其實我都試過了。我高的低的職位也嘗試過伸請。可是連面試的機會也沒有。而且,因為我是大學生,所以不合乎培訓中心入會的資格,不可以參加它們的一條龍”再培訓到找到工作”的計劃。

我也嘗試過去篤人管,那個 agent 看了我的履歷,對我說,你只需要找一份固定的工作,做上一兩年,你便可以飛了。但他沒有為我推篤任何固定的工作。

雖然是這樣,我仍是不會放棄,我仍會繼續去嘗試的。可是,我會不會像劉先生的幸運呢?只怕,不是每個人都有落難富豪劉振輝的幸運吧?!

我比刘先生还年青一点。我十来岁便从事设计行业,由 trainee 做到部门主管。又觉得自己的学历不够。储了一笔钱,在自己事业的黄金期放下了工作,跑去读了大学,拿了个学位。满以为回来可以大展拳脚。却遇上了1995 年经济的低潮期。毕业后一年都找不到工作,只好投降去了教书,后来因为要跟男朋友结婚,嫁了到外国。有了孩子之后,从此只能断断续续的做 part-time 工作。一直做了八年。

两年前回流香港,便在努力找正职,可是发出去的信,都像是石沉到了大海之中,无声,无息也没有回响。

在没有拿到大学证书之前,朋友总嚷着要我做他/她们的下属,因为他/她们都知我捱得,办事效律快。任何一个 project 到了我的手,从来没有错失。

有一位同事和我共事了四份不同的工作,他可以说是我的恩师,也是因为这份恩情,我为了他辞了三份工作。最后与他共事的一份工作,他是 senior, 把我找来当他的下属,我上了班才不到一星期,他便放大假去了。他留给我的是;两本完全未开始设计的书刊,两个要做的展览设计,还有部份产品插图,两个月的期限,一个整天到晚都只懂叫着”哎也!我吾得呀!”吾识点做呀的助手。我知道过了两个月便是圣诞节,圣诞过后展览便要开始了,时间是没得商量的。除了设计,还有所有的产品要拍照,要拍照便先要完成产品的插图,还有排字。幸好我 pitman 打字及格,秘书小姐打字还比我慢。我只好硬着头皮,一星期七天工作,每夜做至零晨三零,回家洗过澡,又返回公司再战沙场。

结果是我不负所托,但老板们见到实在没必要有个 senior 了, 说他不应在公司最忙碌和最需要人手的时候请假,把他辞退了。

他在执拾他的东西时对我说:”我想你辞职。”到现在,我还是觉得这个请求实在太自私了。但为了报答他是第一个教我做正稿的人。我真的辞了那份原本要把我升职的工作。

这次回来,我这个朋友其实是有能力可以帮我找一点工作的,但我现在的学历比他高了,我的能力他也相当了解,就是我不介意做他的下属,他也介意我对他的威胁性吧。

在我回来之后,他对我说:”我想你跟我太太合作做生意,开画室。”

他只是不明白,我在这十年来所走的路,都是自己一个人做的决定,我再不是那个没有自主的小妹妹了。

不单止是他想找我合作做生意,其他的朋友也一样,就是没有一个问我,回来了想干甚么?

所以我知道,要找工作,只有靠自己了。而我,我只想做设计。不想做生意。

我需要的,是一个伯乐,不去看我的年龄,不要以我这十年来都是part time 的工作经验来衡量我。我对从事设计的热诚,不是一般时下青年可以媲美的。事实上我做 part-time 的时候做project比那些正职的还快,还准,他/她们都对我又妒又怕,尽量在我身上放钉子使我不好受。

今天上了培训局,那个社工对我的提议,其实我都试过了。我高的低的职位也尝试过伸请。可是连面试的机会也没有。而且,因为我是大学生,所以不合乎培训中心入会的资格,不可以参加它们的一条龙”再培训到找到工作”的计划。

我也尝试过去笃人管,那个 agent 看了我的履历,对我说,你只需要找一份固定的工作,做上一两年,你便可以飞了。但他没有为我推笃任何固定的工作。

虽然是这样,我仍是不会放弃,我仍会继续去尝试的。可是,我会不会像刘先生的幸运呢?只怕,不是每个人都有落难富豪刘振辉的幸运吧?!

I am younger than Mr Lau. I had been working in design field when I was 19 years old, from a trainee I worked myself up to a Head-Designer, helped companies to set up Art Department, employed staffs, created brand images, design their packaging and exhibitions. My passion on design never stopped. When I saw my career could go no higher because of my academic qualifications; I saved a sum of money, and went abroad to University. But when I made my way back in 1995, it was the economy crisis period; I was unable to find work for a year, and had to surrender to work as a teacher. Then, not long after I got myself a design job, I had to leave Hong Kong again to marry to my boyfriend. And then we had a child, since then I had been working as a freelance designer on and off for the last ten years.

I returned to Hong Kong two and a half years ago, I concentrated in looking for a full-time job, but there were no luck to me, I got no response from any job applications.

Before my graduation, I did not really need to look for job, the jobs were looking for me. My senior colleagues always called out to me to be their subordinates, because they all know that I am tough, loyal and reliable. Any project passed to my hand – I never failed.

I worked with one of my ex-colleagues, together, for four different companies. I count him as my teacher. He was the one teaching me how to do artwork when I first joined as a trainee and because of this reason I had resigned three jobs because of him in terms of to help me out of a chance of get dismissed. And every time, I worked as his subordinate.

The last job I worked for him, he was the senior, I was his right-hand-man. Right after I came on duty to this company for a week, he took his long annual leave, he also had not been working for this company long, (less than a year). He left me, who had not even passed her probation period, with a list of jobs, (two brochures to design, two exhibition designs and also part of the product illustration). All these had to be done within two months. I was on my own with a junior who had been working at that company for ten years, and all he would do the whole day was sit there and shout “Holy cow! I am going to die, I don’t know how to do this.” And he was honest, he really had no idea of what to do. I knew that Christmas is coming, and after the Christmas holiday we will have to run the two exhibitions. Time is not negotiable so I planned to do the illustrations for the products, then sent the lots out for filming. At the same time I drafted the catalogue’s layout, found a freelancer to help with the artwork. I even had to type the text because the secretary was so young and new her typing speed was so slow. Thank God I had passed my Pitman typing exam. I had to work day and night, seven days a week. By the time my “brother” returned from his holiday, (that’s how I called him all the time), the heavy work load has been cleared. We only had the two exhibition’s preparation work to complete. Without waiting for my three months probation – I had my salary increased and my full-time contract signed.

But this was not the only result, the bosses could see that there was no need to have a senior to me, they said to my ex-colleague that he was not devoted to the company, he should not be taken time off when it’s the busiest timing for the company, he was dismissed.

It was a big shock to him, and I was very sorry for him. He saw that I was the reason that he got fired, even though nowadays, he still complained to me because I was working too hard. He did not see it as he has the problem. When he was packing his belongings he said to me that he wants me to resign. Although I feel that his request was too selfish. Although I knew that this is not my fault that he got sacked and I could see the company has their ground there, but he was my teacher, my friend, I could not betray him; I resigned from a job that would have had another promotion.

Returning to Hong Kong this time, he could be the one in a position could help me find a little job, but he knew my qualification now was much higher than him, he also knew too well of my ability. He sees me as a threat rather than his loyal friend.

He told me this time: “I want you to run a business with my wife, a teaching studio.” This is not that simple as his wife was a money keeper who used to work in a post to offer pay cheques. She is not a design person, that means, not work with his wife but work for his wife. He just does not understand. I had not had people tell me what to do for the last decade and I learned how to say “NO” and I don’t want to be a business woman. I just want to do design.

He was not the only one to have such an expectation on me, some other friends as well. They told me what they want me to do with them, not one ever asked me what I want to do next?

So I know, my bridge is broken. If I want to find a job, I have to find one myself.

I need an open minded boss, who will not to look at my age, who does not to negate my last 10 years part-time experience. In fact, if someone could work for freelance for 10 years and still have job offers come to her, she must be good on her work. I feel my enthusiasm in design can not be compared with those nowadays majority younger designer.

When I was in the ERB centre today the social workers did try to help, she gave me some suggestions, which I had already tried. From high-post to low-post, I tried it all, even teaching. I just had no luck. The worst is because I am a degree holder I am not eligible for membership in the training center. Not accepted to participate in any of their plan or support.

I also tried the recruitment agency and the agent who met me told me, “You only need to find a fixed work; work for one or two years and you can fly with your qualification and your ability.” But what he really means was to come back to him after I gained my first two years full-time experience.

Life has never been smooth to me. Though I set my heart on it, I will not give up, I will continue to try. All I want is to prove that I can make my way, to do what I enjoy to do, not what they told me. However, I also know that not everybody will have Mr Lau’s luck!

Or, do you?