God, I can’t believe that I am going to be a mother,
Somedays later, I will be a mother,
and I am fat,
I should be magnanimous with the way I see the life and the world.

I should learn,
“happiness would not come always,
Sadness would not stay long,
We only have a short life,
What more could we ask?”

Then all in a sudden,
with an hour or two sharp pain,
struggle, scream, shouted and then ~ quite,
I am a mother.
(all other mothers told me that I was lucky after this, for I delivered my baby in such a short time - three hours of the whole delivery)

I cannot remember who on earth had told me that do not dare to miss the first sight of my baby, they told me that it will be the most beautiful looking moment of my baby, right after come out from my body.

God, I did not miss it and I saw my baby was covered in blood with wrinkles all over her face and her body. My heart sank. I started to worry, not knowing if it was because of I got “baby blue” right away? I did asked myself who is going to love my baby if this is the best look of her life time?

I looked back now I would beg those ever so imaginative people, don’t tell this to any mother-to-be, this is simply not true, not a good joke nor a good advice. Anyone fool enough like me and believe this will worry sick, the truth is, babies grow more and more beautiful.

That night in the hospital, my little daughter cried for me. I was tided up with life support, I needed a transfusion, I could not come round to hold her. I asked the nurse to help to put her on my chest. Oh, she was so light, and so soft, like a big ball of cotton. Once she laid on me she stop crying. I could feel her and I knew she had found her comfort. At the same time I found mine, our warmth from our heart connected, and I could not stop loving this little bunny anymore.

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